Finding Joy

So many things swirling about in my mind and nothing concrete.  Panic and fear mostly.  It was a hard weekend.  I was hormonal and I didn’t react well to some truths about things that need to change, sooner rather than later.  I need to contribute financially.  My partner feels very burdened with providing and working himself into the ground and rather than hear this from a balanced place like I usually would, I was feeling pmsy and hormonal and got defensive and things did not progress well.

It was decided that art school wasn’t an option right now and I was devastated, but in my more rational moments know that these things happen for a reason.  And in the enrolement literature there was a list of websites and further information to follow up.  As well as weekend and evening classes a few times a term, so it isn’t the end of the world if it isn’t right now.  Though this was not the case on the weekend.

And I just wasn’t in a place to hear things as they were been said.  And projected things on to him that weren’t said.  And he reacted in a way that wasn’t conducive and it was not a good weekend!  I feel so not sure about a lot of things, but one step in front of the other, and this morning there was an email about a possible opportunity in which I could contribute financially.  So I will follow that up.  Now rational balanced thinking is returning slowly.  And hurt and defensiveness is slowly receding.

Oh, what to do.  What to do.

One step at a time.  The path will become clear.

Filed under: Personal