So I wrote this post this morning, and then wrote my to do list.

Given how I was feeling I wrote “Smudge myself” on the list.  Just something I felt like I need to do.  And when I had written my list, I looked down and the smudging was going to be somewhere near the bottom of my to do list.  Not a priority.

And I realised that the smudging could help all the other activities I had to do flow so much better, and why was I putting that aspect of my self-care down the bottom of the list.  So with that wake up call I got prepared and smudged my work space and then went outside and smudged me.

And if have to say I feel so much better.  Already.  I know it is the stuff that makes Tim roll his eyes and call me a raving hippy, but if this is what a raving hippy is I say bring it on.  It grounds me and cleanses me and the chance to completely refocus is an incredible gift.

And it is at times like this morning, when I am feeling a bit blah, that I revert back to those rituals that give me peace and keep me grounded.  The fact I am even aware that I am in that space and I am able to take action…beyond grateful.

The fact it works…thank you world.

Such simple things make such a big difference for me.  I feel like my entire self has shifted over.  I feel so much better in the space of an hour.

And then while I was packing up, I noticed at the other end of the table where my daughter had been preparing a “meal” yesterday.  I noticed the pine cone and the seeds falling out, and it made me think of something I read earlier in the week, though I can’t for the life of me remember what it was I was reading.  That a pine cone takes years to mature and release it’s seeds, but that a bush fire, while destructive in so many ways is also a regenerative force, and can make a pine cone pop instantly and release it seeds to speed regeneration when the ground around it has been “cleansed”/destroyed.

Made me think of what I had just done, and the miracle of cleansing and regrowth.  And how once upon a time I would have ignored how I was feeling and ploughed on regardless, and also how I suffered from depression for so long…is it really any wonder, when I never took the time to take care of me.  To even know what it was to take care of me.  That been sick did not involve just taking a panadol and carrying on.  And while I sit here, fortunate enough to wax lyrical on smudging and pine cone seeds, I can hear the other side of me, and the one I love more than any other tell me that it is a load of BS.  And I don’t care.  Because I know how I felt this morning.  And I know how I feel now, and there is a world of difference.  And I say love the hippy if that is a tool that works so well and so simply for me.

To remember this lesson when I am sinking is my desire.  Go back to simple.  Go to what works.  And most important.  Stop.  Take a break.